


swing low

by fleurting



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-04-28 21:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5107106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurting/pseuds/fleurting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I feel like a gold digger, Rory. I do not want to feel like a gold digger."</p>
            </blockquote>





	swing low

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for a challenge at [card_writing](http://card-writing.livejournal.com/).

"Rory! I need you. Come on! Wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake uuup. If you don't wake up I'm going to start singing that song from The Wiggles, fair warning. So, you should probably ---"  
  
"Mom?" Rory asked groggily, blinking away the blurriness of her vision and watching the blinking red 4:57 on the alarm clock come clearly into view. "What are you doing? It’s 5 A.M."  
  
"Uh, yeah, of course it's me. Who else would be calling you at five in the morning?"  
  
"Ugh," Rory rolled over, inching her way back under the covers and nuzzling her face against the nice, warm pillow. "What do you want?"  
  
"Luke dyed his hair."  
  
"Luke  _what_?"  
  
" _Yeah._ Well, technically, Liz dyed his hair but. Anyway."  
  
"Oh my god." Rory said, giving up the possibility of getting any more sleep and putting herself in an upright position.  
  
"I.Know.And? It's  _black_."  
  
"Black?" Rory parroted. She stepped out of bed and into her slippers, shuffling her way into the kitchen.  
  
_"Uh huh_."  
  
 "What  _kind_ of black? Like Angie in  _Salt_ black or Kim K black? How black are we talking here?" Rory rifled through the cabinets, searching for a much coveted bag of  _Eight O'Clock._  
  
_"_ Like Tom Selleck in  _Bluebloods_ black."  
  
"Oh!" Rory exclaimed, finding the bag at the back of the cabinet, sandwiched between a bag of plastic straws and a...pizza roller? Huh. "That's not so bad."  
  
" _But_ without all the salt and pepper flakes to make it seem more sophisticated and attractive!"  
  
"Oh no." Rory said without feeling, pressing the oh so familiar ON button on the coffeemaker.  
  
"Oh yes."  
  
"Are there pictures?" She asked through a yawn. "Send me pictures."  
  
"Oh, yeah, there's pictures, all right. I have to hang up though. This thing still won't let me call and text at the same time."  
  
"How," Rory hopped up on the counter, "many times have I told you to  _get a new phone?_ What happens when this one eventually stops working altogether, huh? And you're stuck on the side of the road somewhere and have to hitchhike a ride home except the truck driver who gives you a ride turns out to be a serial killer straight from  _Criminal Minds_ and where does that leave Luke, hmmm? Not to mention Paul Anka."  
  
"Please, Paul Anka would be  _fine._ Luke knows how to take care of him by now. At least he should."  
  
"Paul Anka would drive Luke  _crazy_ and you know it."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. You are right and I am wrong, as always, blah, blah, blah."  
  
Rory smiled smugly at the phone. "Thank you. Now, hang up your sorry excuse for a communication device and go send me that picture, missy!"  
  
"Yes,  _Mom."_  
  
_Ding,_ Rory heard a few minutes later. She opened her eyes from where she had been resting (not sleeping!) against the edge of the refrigerator.  
  
  
**Mom**  
(1) Image Attached  
  
              _Oh my god!_  
  
**Mom**  
RIGHT  
  
             _It's...it's like..._  
  
**Mom**  
Pete Wentz? I KNOW  
  
            _It almost makes him look...?_  
  
**Mom  
** older right?? that's what i said! i feel like a gold digger, rory. I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL LIKE A GOLD DIGGER  
  
           _I'm...sorry?_  
  
**Mom  
** ughhh why couldn't Liz have done something to make him look younger i would much rather feel like a cougar than a gold digger  
  
  
         _Really?_  
  
**Mom  
** uh...YEAH cougars are hot and lounge around by the pool drinking martinis and staring at the pool boy gold diggers have to wait for the viagra to kick in before they even touch their boy toys' wrinkly old man parts  
  
  
        _Oh, gross._  
  
**Mom  
** WELL IT'S TRUE  
  
       _Now that I think about it, you have always had a thing for younger guys._  
  
**Mom  
** SEE???   
  
       _Momma likes 'em hung._ ****  
  
**Mom  
** LORELAI GILMORE  
  
I AM APPALLED   
  
     _Young! I meant young!_  
  
**Mom  
** uh huh suuure you did   
  
       _I hate you. I'm going back to bed._  
  
**Mom  
** may visions of well hung young men dance in your head  
  
   _YOU'RE THE WORST._


End file.
